This has been one long spring and I am weary. Not tired , weary. Chap has been finishing up his MBA and starting to look for new jobs, my people have been sick, I have been sick, spring break was really late, and now we are in the finial push to the end of the year. I have been in survival mode for awhile now, just keeping every one in the right place at the right time, everything done and some kind of order around here as we finish the school year.
At the same time as all this craziness has been going on around us, I can say that I have never felt closer to God. I know I am His chosen child (Ephesians 1:5). It is a good thing that I remembered that this week. Chap and I had lunch on Monday and he told me the news I knew was coming but didn't want to hear. His job is ending in May. As that was sinking in, he also told me the new job we were hoping for isn't going to happen.
Gulp.
We had been praying all spring long for very clear signs on what we are suppose to do, we got them: "You are not to stay at this job, you are not to get another similar job." They could not be more clear if God had written them on a neon sign and put them in the front yard. However, I guess when one prays for clear signs, one should be ready for a very clear NO as much as a clear GO, YES!!
Monday I was still in shock and calm, Tuesday I was a hot mess of emotion. I cried, I wanted to get in the bed and hide under the covers, I called Chap and told him I wanted to come pick him and the kids up and just run away, he saw my point, but said that wasn't an option.
This morning I got up, I was moving slow, I didn't want to leave the house. I was not doing well, I was edgy, anxious and just plain ole blaaaa. I decided to lay down for a few minutes. I prayed. I took a nap. I woke up felt a little better. I decided to get out of the house, I needed gas and milk, I could do this. I went out and it is an amazingly cool crisp clear day for May. The sun was shinning and started to think clearly again. I realized that yes, the job is going to be gone soon, but God isn't. Life is going to keep going and this is just the start of something new.
Something new? I don't know what the new is. Chap and I have some ideas. We have been praying for God to move in our lives, praying for us to be lead to do something new and wow, is He making it clear to get moving. Stop wasting your time at this job, it is time to think out side the box. Time to use the gifts we have been given. It is time to do something new....
Last week I found this song - love it. This week is the song of my heart...
"All Things New" by Brett Younker
Like the sun your mercy shines
a brand new day a brighter lightJesus, your grace restores our livesOur hope is not lost,because you make all thingsnew.
Click to listen: All Things New
3 comments:
Jane, I'm just now reading this on Thursday and didn't realize all this was going on! Calling you tomorrow. And praying for you always. You're so right that we can't know what new thing awaits, but I have faith like you do that it'll be better, more perfect, and part of the big plan picture for you all. Lots of love and hugs! (Tell him to look for something in Tallahassee!) ;)
oh Jane, how the Lord is pushing you all and demanding that you press into Him! What a spring. We will be praying for clarity. How I long for a burning bush and how differently the Lord moves. He works all things for your Good and he is writing such a beautiful story through you, Chap and your children.
Oh girl!!! This is the song that we used for our adoption/homecoming video. Have you seen it? I LOVE this song and it's message. I so agree with this post. Love you dearly and I thank you and Chap for the prayers on my behalf. I'll be praying for y'all too!
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